Our latest installment of odd police news includes a horse, a scooter, a kitchen drawer and a runaway hospital patient.

Life in the Fast Lane...

Ever see any of the Jackass movies, in which the shenanigan-filled Johnny Knoxville and friends perform "you shouldn't try this at home," stunts and make complete fools of themselves? Knoxville's "old man on scooter" shtick is what first came to mind when I read about this scooter driver in Milford getting multiple citations before being allowed to scoot home. I will purposely not be seeking out more information about this log entry, because I prefer to imagine the vehicle in question as one of those slow-moving, sit-down, motorized scooters. (More likely than not, it was one of those newfangled electric, stand-up ones.)

Watch out for those tricky doors.

Milford firefighters rushed to the aid of a local grandmother, who called them this week because her 13-year-old granddaughter was stuck in the bathroom. Milford's bravest freed the teen in five minutes. It could have been worse: at least she was stuck in the bathroom, not on the toilet. That would have been awkward.

It was unseasonally warm this week, but not that warm, Mr. Ed...

A Holliston horse escaped late at night from its enclosure this week and wandered into its owner's backyard, where it found a below-ground pool. Shortly thereafter, the Fire Department was called to help the horse, who was stuck in the pool liner. Animal lovers, don't worry, this gem wouldn't make the OMG PD column if there wasn't a happy ending. The Fire Department used a bunch of rope to bring the horse to safety.

Foiled by an IV

Who wants to be stuck at a hospital? One "heavily intoxicated" patient apparently had other things to do, so he fled from Marlborough Hospital on Tuesday evening, triggering a call from the hospital folks to Marlborough police. His escape plan was complicated by one minor detail: he left with an IV still in his arm. Police spotted him and returned him to the hospital.

How many times can I tell you, don't mix THE FORKS WITH THE SPOONS!

I'm the organizer in our house. I know where everything goes. So, when I find the Tupperware all out of place, or the big spoons mixed in with the little spoons in the silverware drawer, I can get a bit irritated. My displeasure, though, hasn't risen to the level that it did in Westborough recently, when a California woman was arrested in an extended-stay hotel for assaulting another guest with a kitchen drawer.